This is the second of a two-part blog series examining the effects of perinatal health and its impact on women’s and men’s mental health.
Twelve weeks of paid paternity leave. That’s what one new dad’s company offered. But when he asked to take it, his boss shot back: “But your wife’s got it covered, right?”
That one question said so much, it dismissed the importance of a father’s role in those early days, reinforced outdated gender norms, and added guilt to a moment that should have been filled with joy and support. It’s a reminder of how much work remains in shifting workplace culture and making space for fathers to show up fully, not just as providers, but as parents. Despite growing support for gender equality, only 15% of men in the U.S. take the paternity leave available to them. And of those who do, 76% return to work in less than a week.
So why are so many fathers reluctant to take leave? Often, it’s fear, fear of what colleagues or supervisors might think. According to surveys, 1 in 5 men worry that taking paternity leave could hurt their careers. And given the reactions many men still face, that concern isn’t misplaced. This kind of outdated thinking still permeates many workplaces. Even as corporate policies evolve, only 45% of employers offered paid paternity leave as of 2023, and culture hasn’t always kept pace with policy (“25+ Telling Paternity Leave Statistics [2023],” 2023).
5 Reasons Why Fathers Should Take Parental Leave
So what’s really at stake when dads take time off to be fully present? More than you might think. Here’s why paternity leave matters, for families, workplaces, and fathers themselves:
1. Strengthening Partnerships. 90% of fathers who took leave reported a significant improvement in their relationship. It signals shared responsibility and eases the burden on mothers, reducing risks of postpartum depression (Séjourné et al., 2012).
2. Bonding with the Baby. Time in those early weeks helps fathers form strong emotional connections, which supports long-term cognitive and emotional development in children (Scism & Cobb, 2017).
3. Mental Health. Fathers are also vulnerable to postpartum depression and anxiety, issues often overlooked. Paternity leave offers space to adjust, process, and seek support (Baldwin et al., 2018).
4. Modeling Equality. When men take leave, it challenges harmful gender norms. It shows that caregiving is a shared responsibility, not just a maternal one (Galvin et al., 2023).
5. Long-term Engagement. Dads who take leave are more likely to stay actively involved in caregiving. That leads to healthier family bonds and better outcomes for children (Gonzalez et al., 2023).
Shifting the Culture Around Paternity Leave
Despite the clear benefits, many men still feel uncomfortable taking time away from work. This isn’t just a personal or family decision, it’s a cultural one.
If we want to build healthier families and more inclusive workplaces, we have to challenge outdated narratives about masculinity and caregiving. That means looking beyond policy to workplace culture.
Employers play a crucial role. It’s not enough to offer paternity leave on paper, companies must actively foster a culture where men feel safe and supported to use it. That means training managers to be allies, celebrating examples of employees who take leave, and sending a clear message: parenting is not a professional liability (Gheyoh Ndzi & Holmes, 2023).
A Call to Action
If we want to create a future where parenting is truly shared, we need to normalize paternity leave as essential, not optional.
● Employers: Encourage and support the use of paternity leave. Don’t just offer the policy, back it with a culture that values family.
● Fathers: Take the leave if you have it. Your presence matters, during the sleepless nights and far beyond.
● Partners & Allies: Advocate for one another. Support each other in asking for time, seeking help, and sharing the emotional and physical labor of parenting.
● Policymakers: Push for comprehensive, gender-inclusive family leave policies that make leave accessible and equitable for all.
Final Thoughts
Taking paternity leave isn’t time off, it’s time invested. It strengthens families, nurtures healthy development, and models a more equitable future.
Let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s challenge the stigma around paternity leave and build a culture where fatherhood is supported from the very start.
References:
25+ telling paternity leave statistics [2023]: Average paternity leave length. (2023, June 22). Zippia. https://www.zippia.com/advice/paternity-leave-statistics/
Baldwin, S., Malone, M., Sandall, J., & Bick, D. (2018). Mental health and wellbeing during the transition to fatherhood: A systematic review of first time fathers’ experiences. JBI Database of Systematic Reviews and Implementation Reports, 16(11), 2118–2191. https://doi.org/10.11124/JBISRIR-2017-003773
Galvin, L., Verissimo, C. K., Ambikapathi, R., Gunaratna, N. S., Rudnicka, P., Sunseri, A., Jeong, J., O’Malley, S. F., Yousafzai, A. K., Sando, M. M., Mosha, D., Kumalija, E., Connolly, H., PrayGod, G., Endyke-Doran, C., & Kieffer, M. P. (2023). Effects of engaging fathers and bundling nutrition and parenting interventions on household gender equality and women’s empowerment in rural Tanzania: Results from EFFECTS, a five-arm cluster-randomized controlled trial. Social Science & Medicine, 324, 115869. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2023.115869
Gheyoh Ndzi, E., & Holmes, A. (2023). Paternal leave entitlement and workplace culture: A key challenge to paternal mental health. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(8), 5454. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20085454
Gonzalez, J. C., Klein, C. C., Barnett, M. L., Schatz, N. K., Garoosi, T., Chacko, A., & Fabiano, G. A. (2023). Intervention and implementation characteristics to enhance father engagement: A systematic review of parenting interventions. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 26(2), 445–458. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-023-00430-x
Scism, A. R., & Cobb, R. L. (2017). Integrative review of factors and interventions that influence early father–infant bonding. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing, 46(2), 163–170. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jogn.2016.09.004
Séjourné, N., Vaslot, V., Beaumé, M., Goutaudier, N., & Chabrol, H. (2012). The impact of paternity leave and paternal involvement in child care on maternal postpartum depression. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 30(2), 135–144. https://doi.org/10.1080/02646838.2012.693155
Kevin O'Connor, MS, LPC-IT, LMFT, NCC is a dedicated mental health counselor and founder of mentallyfitmen.com. With a Master's degree in Counselor Education, he specializes in men's mental health, working with individuals aged 10 and up, couples, and diverse populations. Through his blog, he challenges the stigma surrounding men's mental health. Kevin strives to empower clients, promote self-discovery, and develop practical strategies for personal growth.
Here are some specific examples of what partnership with us can look like. Every plan is customized — this is just a starting point.
Classroom wellbeing auditClassroom teachers assess their current wellbeing supports, identify specific strengths and gaps, and actively engage with research-based strategies to create an action plan for supporting student wellbeing in the classroom. This audit is more than a checklist—it’s a mirror that reflects how your everyday choices shape the mental health and wellbeing of everyone in your classroom. By pausing to rate, reflect, and plan, you will:
|
Specialized mental health skill-building workshopsThis goes beyond basic literacy to provide staff with practical skills and techniques for managing specific situations and promoting positive mental health within the school. Examples
|
Adult SEL developmentJust as students benefit from developing social-emotional skills, so do adults. Adult SEL focuses on educators understanding their own emotions, managing impulses, setting goals, showing empathy, building healthy relationships, and making responsible decisions. Examples
|
Integration of mental health into curriculumEmbedding mental health education within the regular curriculum normalizes these topics, reduces stigma, and equips all students with foundational knowledge and skills related to their emotional well-being. Rogers’ understanding of key mental health concepts can inform curriculum development. Examples
|
Mental health literacy trainingThis partnership focuses on equipping school staff with a foundational understanding of mental health concepts, common disorders in children and adolescents, and the importance of early identification and intervention. Examples
|
Trauma-Informed practicesTrauma-informed practice recognizes the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery. In a school setting, this means understanding that students (and staff) may have experienced trauma and that these experiences can affect behavior, relationships, and learning. Training helps staff recognize the signs of trauma, respond in a way that avoids re-traumatization, and create a safe and supportive environment. It also includes understanding secondary trauma or compassion fatigue that educators may experience when working with individuals who have experienced trauma. Examples
|
Mindfulness and stress reduction workshops for staffMindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Stress reduction techniques are practical strategies designed to lower physiological and psychological responses to stress. Training in these areas equips educators with tools to manage the inherent demands and pressures of their job, cultivate a sense of calm, and increase their capacity to be present and responsive. Examples
|
Building resilience (CLE)Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. Training in resilience helps educators identify their strengths, develop positive coping mechanisms, cultivate optimism, and build strong support networks. Examples
|
Enhancing school climate – for the staffSchool climate refers to the quality and character of school life. A positive school climate for staff is characterized by trust, respect, collegiality, collaboration, and a sense of belonging. Consultation focuses on identifying areas for improvement and implementing strategies to foster a more supportive and positive environment. Examples
|
Needs assessment and strategic planning (CLE)A systematic process of gathering information about the current state of staff wellbeing within the school, identifying key stressors, and understanding the needs and preferences of the staff. This data then informs the development of a targeted and effective plan for implementing wellbeing initiatives. Examples
|
Developing supportive policies and practicesExamining existing school policies, procedures, and unwritten norms to identify those that may contribute to staff stress or hinder wellbeing. Consulting on modifications or new policies that actively promote a healthy work environment. Examples
|
Consultation on school mental health systemsThis involves leveraging Rogers’ understanding of best practices in mental health care to advise schools on the development and implementation of comprehensive systems that support student and staff well-being. Examples
|
Integrating wellbeing into existing structuresEmbedding wellbeing initiatives within the school’s existing operational framework rather than treating them as separate, add-on programs. This ensures long-term sustainability and demonstrates that wellbeing is a priority. Examples
|
Leadership coachingCoaching specifically designed for school administrators and team leaders. This focuses on developing their leadership skills related to supporting staff wellbeing, creating a positive team culture, and effectively managing workplace dynamics that can impact stress levels. Examples
|
Individual wellbeing coachingA confidential and supportive partnership between a trained coach and an individual staff member. The coach helps the staff member identify their wellbeing goals, explore challenges, develop strategies, and build self-awareness and resilience. This is particularly helpful for staff experiencing high levels of stress, burnout, or those seeking to proactively enhance their wellbeing. Examples
|
Instructional coaching with a wellbeing lensIntegrating conversations and support around wellbeing into existing instructional coaching cycles. This recognizes that teacher wellbeing is intertwined with their classroom practice and provides a holistic approach to support. Examples
|
Peer coaching programsTraining selected staff members to serve as peer coaches for their colleagues. This leverages internal expertise and fosters a culture of mutual support within the school. Peer coaches can provide a confidential and relatable source of support, sharing strategies and offering encouragement. Examples
|