Many of us give the very best of who we are every day, yet all too often struggle to feel like our best is good enough. Understanding and at times challenging our own expectations and perception of others’ expectations is key to identifying and transforming unrealistic expectations that compromise our ability to approach others with compassion and extend that compassion to ourselves. In this section, we identify the expectations we have for ourselves and for others and question whether these expectations are helpful for us or holding us back.

Facilitator Materials for Section Five

Facilitator Agenda, Section Five

Links Specifically for Leadership

The recommended activities provide ways to make workplace expectations more transparent and encourage healthy expectations among staff.

1. Provide staff with access to Caregivers’ Bills of Rights (1. Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project and 2. aPlaceforMom) which provides affirmations that help combat negative self-talk and expectations; bonus point for creating your own version with staff. Here are two examples from workplace and family perspectives:

   Example 1

   Example 2

2. Read the following article entitled “How to communicate employee expectations effectively” and after doing so, answer the following questions:
   — What efforts can you undertake to encourage regular and ongoing conversations with staff regarding expectations?
   — How can you more clearly communicate expectations to staff?
   — How can you affirm what you, others, or your team are doing well to meet expectations?
   — How might you encourage mentoring relationships and collaborative relationships among staff at your school?

Leadership Considerations specific to Expectations – Youtube
This section identifies the expectations we have for ourselves and for others and question whether these expectations are helpful to us or holding us back. Hear this leader talk about how they set clear, realistic expectations for themselves and their team.

Additional Resources

To find out more about the negative consequences of “shoulding” on ourselves (and how to avoid doing so), check out this resource from the author of “The Positively Present Guide to Life.”